i have come to terms with the realism with money and it isn't worth spent on all my materialistic desires.. i unds what sab and jm means now that they aint interested in shopping.. i unds why alicea can be so stingy and particular over every single cent even thou she's friggling rich.. i unds why debby scrimp and save and look for the cheapest food in the canteen.. and how JJ always tell me how she's worried for my finances when i grow up... these classic examples of frugality are actly the greatest virtues in the world.. and every single one of them are born in families much richer than me yet the way i spend money is ten times worse than me... this is super ironic and im prettaye ashamed of myself seriously and if you ever got pissed with the way i spend money.. i totally unds now... i just needa close my eyes now and i will be greatly inspired by these frugal pple ard me who shall act as my constant reminders ... and i shldn't take my sheltered life for granted...

i wonder why issit so impt to have an ambition
even though i know most people who work hard now is because of their aspiration
and the reason most parents painstakingly bring their children up is so that their children will grow up and be able to live their own dreams..

looking at the people ard me..
i feel the increasing pressure to go overseas to study..
there's a 99.9999 percent chance that my parents wouldn't allow me.. and i dont even know where those cash are gonna come from
but i felt like telling my mum.. can she pay via her CPF.. i will pay her back when i go out to the society and work...



and i felt as if i could do anything to sustain my uni fees... like working part-time..
actly i just felt like leaving everything here and go... even it's not medicine im fine..
i just wna be independent and not rely anyone to sustain my life... and get away from this results-oriented place with a horribly rigid education system..
im starting to wonder why dreams are so impt.. and even doubting my own beliefs..
becos im starting to realise.. even the strongest willpower..determination and sheer perseverance can still allow it to slip through your fingers..
no i don't wna doubt.. but money alone is beyond my control.. parental consent is something i will nver be able to gain.. and my own capability is a big quest
as i grow up.. and as much i do not want to.. i realise it's getting more and more difficult to not care about everything else and do things the way your style.. your way.. and how you like it to be...